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the one where i look (more than usual) crazy.

September 22, 2011

(fair warning…this is 10 paragraphs too long and rambling…as always, proceed with caution)

I often wonder if all of the relationships in my life that have experienced stress or tension could be directly correlated back to one minor insignificant miscommunication. One word that was inflected the wrong way. One text that wasn’t quite long enough to express the right emotion. One poorly worded apology. Whatever it is, communication is so powerful isn’t it?

Like for example, how in marriage, one small miscommunication can cause the largest conflicts. Marital wars have been waged over missed opportunities in good communication. In my own marriage I have to remind my husband a few times a day that he has asked me the same question, word for word, three separate times. Because just as he’s asking me the question, I’m sure he genuinely wants to hear the answer to, he begins thinking of something totally unrelated at the very moment I begin answering him. So of course, minutes later, he feels compelled to ask me the same question again. Only I’ve learned to stop answering. You see, I appreciate that he wants to know how my day was, but after the 4th time, I think he should be able to hear and retain the word “FINE!”.

The importance of good communication was further proved in our household last night when my dear husband forgot to let me know about a late night meet up he had planned with a buddy of his after church. Of course I should mention that our Wednesday night church goes until 11:00 or so now that we are running two services. Not realizing he would be later than the customary 11:30, I figured I would lay down on the couch and wait for him to get home. Except when I woke up at around 1 AM and he hadn’t come home yet, I started to worry a little.  Especially considering the battery of his cell phone had died and I had no way of reaching him.

And by the time 1:30 rolled around and I still hadn’t heard anything, I started googling things like “massive fatal car accident in St. Charles MO”. Which is a pretty brilliant thing to do when you’ve already assumed your husband has died alone in a car accident on highway 70. It provides endless fodder for your ridiculously wild and violent imagination.

So then I did the smart thing that you always see on TV. I called the hospital. That of course ended up being a dead end (no pun intended), which should have calmed my brain, but instead only continued to further the assumption that his accident must have been very bad and he was of course at a larger more medically sophisticated hospital further away.

Instead of calling all of our 100 local hospitals, I decided to call our local police station so they could just tell me where they had airlifted him. But of course they had never heard of him. Although, based on all of the information I gave them, they were more than willing to file a missing persons report and join me in the search. But I thought on the off chance that he was just out taking a leisurely walk, it may be prudent to wait a little longer.

In the mean time I did attempt to contact a few of his friends, including his boss. And you’d be really surprised to find out how many people are actually sleeping at 2AM. It’s alarming really. No one seemed to be at all concerned about the whereabouts of my missing husband except for the St. Charles city police.

But of course, he did come home around 2AM and all was well. In fact he had even done a little household shopping at our local 24 hour Wal-Mart. I was so happy to see that he had brought home toothpaste, I almost forgot to be mad that he hadn’t filled me in on his plans to be out until the wee hours of the morning. That doesn’t mean I didn’t lay the guilt on pretty thick.

But I gotta say, I feel like I kept a cool head about me. And in the end, this is all just great practice for the many “I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE” speeches I’m sure to give throughout my tenure as a mother.

All that to say….  communication in marriage is key.  And the St. Charles city police are ready and willing to help you find your not so lost husband at all hours of the night and early morning.

Words to live by.

Your Sassy Bella.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. September 22, 2011 9:44 pm

    Oh my gosh. Chris is me.

    (this is a totally awesome blog post!)

  2. Nicole S permalink
    September 29, 2011 11:50 am

    Oh my gosh…Chris must have taken the same “man” class that my significant other took!! It sounds so much like our household, it’s unbelievable. Although, when I insist that he didn’t tell me something (which he obviously didn’t), he’s likely to say, “yes I did, you just weren’t listening!” UGH! But I have been there, googling car accidents or the phone number to the establishment he was supposed to be at, facebooking his friends to see if they had talked to him, or just pacing the floor trying to figure out a way to find him when he doesn’t answer his phone and it’s late at night. I get SOOO mad when he does things like this and I fly off the handle at the time, but later when I’ve had time to reflect back on it, I think to myself that he probably wasn’t TRYING to be inconsiderate. But it doesn’t stop me from being “crazy” the next time. lol


  1. 120% confused. again. «

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