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simple comfort.

May 19, 2011

Well….we didn’t get the house we applied for.  And we are t-minus 29 days or so from not having our name on a lease.  I brought home boxes tonight from work, realizing I have no end destination for them.  They will definitely be used.  But perhaps for storage, rather than to help us move into the home we had really hoped would be realized by now.

And to be honest, as I’m accustomed to doing, today I’m hurting with jealousy.  I know how dangerous it is, and how destructive it already has been, but I’m having a hard time combating it.  I just can’t help but suddenly notice all of the truly blessed people around me, comfortable in their situation, NOT searching for moving boxes without a place to move.  And it hurts a bit.  I know thats irrational, and it all stems from my overbearing need to control, and 29 days is plenty of time to turn this around….but that simple comfort I see all around me, just out of reach, seems really nice right now.

I’m still praying, realizing my faith is flawed.  Realizing that I am the problem. Realizing that I am blessed, and comfort is overrated.

Realizing that someday…this will make for a great story. And who wants to die without at least one great story?

One Comment leave one →
  1. May 20, 2011 3:46 pm

    God Bless You Bella.

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