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the sum of your parts.

May 8, 2011

My first Mothers Day is almost in the bag.  I’m not sure if I was the right amount of introspective or relaxed today.  I cooked a lot.  I cleaned a bit.  I watched a movie while the rest of the family slept.  And I kept thinking, what is this supposed to be like?  It kind of felt like a birthday I shared with all the other women I know.  Was I supposed to call them and wish them a happy, relaxed day filled with laughter and love?  Because the reality is that we all still have to bounce from house to house making sure all the moms we know feel loved and appreciated.  And we all still have food to cook and gifts to buy.  And we still have kids and husbands with un-ignorable needs.  And jobs and churches to attend.  So I can appreciate the intention of Mothers Day….but wouldn’t it be better if it were more like a mandatory sick day?  Like, one day out of the year, moms show their appreciation to one another by faking the flu with solidarity.

I’m on to something.

But honestly, today has been great.   Judah slept like he was on Ambien all day.  I had one of my most favorite ladies come over for lunch.  And Chris is on bed time duty as we speak.

As we were driving home from dinner tonight I was thinking about motherhood.  About how I so badly want to get it right.  Almost to the point of obsession.  And I don’t think I’m alone in that at all.  Most of the women I talk to, if they have children, rarely talk about much besides their children.  But something that a friend of mine said this week has made me really consider how much of a pedestal I’ve put myself on as a mommy and how potentially detrimental that can be.  If only to myself.

As someone who is not a mother, she expressed a frustration at all the moms who can’t help but pat each other on the back and talk about how their sole gratification in life is found in their children.  And as a mom I know how easy it is to fall into that trap.  Because I don’t think it is at all wrong to be gratified in life as a mother and a wife.  But to ONLY find gratification in our kids…well that’s where it gets hairy.  Because it’s one role.  It’s a blessing.  It’s an incredible responsibility.  But we are still great women and friends and humble servants.

And if we continue to only seek our gratification in our kids, the parts of us that we neglect, such as being that humble servant of Christ, which gives us the ability to be great lovers and friends, we will miss the point of the blessing in the first place.

So happy Mothers Day ladies.  Tonight, if you haven’t sat down and taken a slow breath, do so.  And remember that you are more than just the role of mom.  Or wife.  Or friend.  You are the whole that is bigger than the sum of it’s parts.  Find gratification in who you are in total.

Because you, my sassy momma, are rad.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 9, 2011 9:26 pm

    Love this!

  2. Nicole Sneed permalink
    May 11, 2011 9:59 am

    You are so, so wise, Laura. 🙂 I completely agree with you. No matter how much I love my son…no matter how much I talk/think/worry about him…no matter how much I feel like I came alive when I became a mother…it is only one part of who I am as a woman. And it’s really not fair to children to make them our sole gratification, because that puts a lot of pressure on them to be everything to us. And Happy (late) Mother’s Day to you, sassy momma!

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