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tiresome.

January 21, 2011

Listen.  I’ve never earned a tiara in my life.  Not for my pristine beauty.  Certainly not for congeniality.  I’ve always shot for the relaxed, youthful, sun kissed beauty of wearing blue jeans and worn out t-shirts.  But I suppose the rigors of motherhood, working, sleep deprivation and an unhealthy addiction to fried foods have taken their toll.  I know this because it wasn’t but one week ago that it was brutally revealed to me that I may need to take a hard look in the mirror and maybe think through a skin toning facial mask.

Last Thursday while taking out our trash to one of the many dumpsters in our complex, I heard some rustling as I approached the fence which houses our neighborhood garbage.  It was there that I ran smack dab into a large homeless man rummaging through trash, searching for empty soda cans.  I didn’t have the heart to point out that he may have more luck exploring the recycling bags behind him.  Instead I simply gave a polite and enthusiastic hello while silently saying a prayer that he was neither interested or sophisticated enough to abuse the 12 credit card offers I was in the process of throwing out without previously shredding (my bad).  But his response to my heartfelt hello will forever haunt my injured self esteem.  He looked up at me with a smile, which quickly turned to a concerned scowl and stated very plainly, “Oh….you look tired”.

YOU LOOK TIRED??

I mean….not to sound crass….but this cat is homeless.  The first thing he notices when looking at me is that I LOOK TIRED?  I mean I have to think this guy has seem some stuff in his life. You don’t just find yourself digging through trash in the middle of the winter because life was all flowers and hummingbirds.  This guy probably knows the ugly of this world more than I could ever imagine.  And when he looks at me he says “oh…you look tired”?  Which is the polite way of saying …”Girl you are a hot mess.  How about a haircut and some blush?”.  The best part of this interaction is that I have never seen this person before in my life.  He has nothing to reference his opinion of my supposed exhaustion on other than my current state of being.  Meaning, that I may have looked my possible best, but in his humble but honest opinion, I could use at the very least, a lengthy nap.

In hindsight I should have reacted by brushing off his unfounded remark and ask him if there was anything I could do to help.  But I instead, dropped my trash into the dumpster, turned tail, headed towards the apartment and awkwardly shouted “I AM TIRED!!”.  I also immediately began a campaign to find an anti-aging miracle cream.

I may need to explore this further with a therapist.

 

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 21, 2011 7:43 pm

    you can be tired and still be beautiful. And you are.

  2. Jeff your Uncle permalink
    January 26, 2011 5:10 am

    That was a good story. I think the Lord was there with you. He could have said a lot of bad things. He saw you and he chose to look at you with concerned eyes thinking about you and caring nothing about his own problems. Accept this as a gift from God.

    You are beautiful. Jeanne and I often comment about that when we talk about what we read on your blog.

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