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the commissioner of a failing economy.

December 28, 2010

Confession:

Today I purchased 6 matching Christmas stockings.  Not out of need.  More out of fiscal responsibility.  They were 80% off and less than $1 a piece.  And my thought process was such that I figured in the event that we actually NEED 6 Christmas stockings, I won’t be in any kind of financial situation to buy them all.  Therefore, I had better buy then now when I can afford it and while the deals are hot.  Also I’m spurring the economy.  So it’s win win.  Although I’m not sure how to tell Chris that are now obligated to have 3 more kids.  I mean the stockings have been purchased.  It’s almost like we are testing Santa.  And he’s not one to be reckoned with.

In an effort to buffer his potential annoyance I shall write him a letter alerting him to this problem.

Dear Santa,
My only request this year is that you make gas cheaper so I can afford to drive a really trendy and large SUV to hold the 18 car seats I’ll need to transport all the babies I have to birth in order to justify purchasing an inordinate amount of Christmas stockings.  I did it in the name of Christmas spirit.  How can you possibly say no?  You’re the commissioner of Christmas spirit.  Also because of rising gas prices, consumers have begun cutting back their spending in other areas such as retail thus causing me to pick up their slack by purchasing more clearance stockings.  And it begins to feel cyclical.  So just make gas cheaper and we’ll call it a wash.

Shalom,
Me Again.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. December 28, 2010 11:49 pm

    You. Are. Insane. 🙂 (and we would not have it any other way.)

    • December 30, 2010 11:19 pm

      you. are. also. while medicated. and i wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂

  2. Jeff your Uncle permalink
    December 29, 2010 10:46 am

    Octo-mom would be very upset with you because you would be duodeviginti-mom(18-mom). Although she is really quattuordecim-mom(14-mom) they just failed to give her credit for the six children before. I would just call you duodevi for short. You and octo-mom could do reality TV where you fielded you own football teams (made up of your children) and fought each other. Man I could almost enjoy that for TV… ahhhh…. Christmas dreams…. Kate plus 8 could join in every once in awhile… hmmmmm

    Ok, got to go back to work.

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