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for crying out loud.

November 22, 2010

I’ve been sitting here for about 20 minutes really deciding what to write.  I’m due to write Judah another letter.  I’m focused on writing about how exhausting the past few weeks have been.  I’m tempted to write a novella on the complexities of being married to the youngest son of Ronald Woods.  But it all seems so predictable.  As if I would be recycling the same 10 or 12 phrases over and over again.

So I won’t.

Instead, I’ll get extra predictable and write the customary “I’m thankful for” post.  Being that it is Thanksgiving, and this is a blog, what else could I possibly do?  It’s like I have a gun to my head.  You can’t even have a blog if you don’t write this one post every year. Last year I was engaged in the beauty of creation…  This year not much has changed.  Except instead of mountains, I’m more focused on the big round nearly bald head of a 3 month old little man.

I’d love to say he is all cotton candy and puffy clouds, but the reality is, the dude screams a lot.  And I’d love to tell you that there is an explainable medical reason for such screaming.  But it just doesn’t seem to be so.  Sometimes it’s exhaustion.  Sometimes it’s because I didn’t look at him when I walked by his bouncy seat.  Sometimes it’s because the moon didn’t rotate quickly enough around the earth according to his will.  So you can imagine how this unexplainable unhappiness can play with a mommy’s head.  Makes it easy to believe you are doing something really wrong to create such an unpleasant disposition.  But it’s all a matter of prayer and reminding yourself that this too shall pass.  Tomorrow he may go back to being content with pooping his butt all day and licking his arm.  Today is just today.  And today makes me thankful I’m alive.  Because even amidst the screaming and confusion, it’s the most peaceful thing to my soul on this earth.

That being said, I wouldn’t survive one second of it without the support of my Chris.  I’m about to make every Christian woman who reads this cringe a little, so brace yourself.  Because I know in the bible it says the wife is called to be the helpmate.  And every day I do my best to wake up thinking of ways to be intentional in that calling.  But so very seriously, I know Chris does as well.  He spends hours every day ensuring that I find the support and help I need to help and support him and my son.  It sounds cyclical and backwards.  But he has perfected it.  He loves serving this family day in and day out.  He has a job that he loves, but I can see in his soul that his family is his first and most loved priority.

So beyond that, I have my health, my church, my job, my friends, and my home.  And every single one of those things, in addition to the millions of small things I don’t mention, remember or know of, are all given to me graciously by the God of Creation.

The One who chose me to worship Him.  The one who messes that up every single day of her life.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Jenni permalink
    November 22, 2010 10:41 pm

    I’m thankful for you introducing me to the wonderful world of Photoshop actions. It’s like cheating in the best possible way.

  2. November 22, 2010 10:41 pm

    Ahhhh. 47 years to the day that Kennedy was assassinated I took one to the head too. I’m in good company. 😉

    Love you, Bella. Don’t ever, ever, ever, stop writing.

  3. Jeff your Uncle permalink
    November 29, 2010 2:46 pm

    Judah is wonderful, you got to smile when you see him. Jeanne and I really enjoyed holding him. God bless you both for seeing us and allowing us to see such a special family.

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