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de-constructive criticisms.

April 26, 2010

I love random weekdays off.  I had to work this weekend for a few hours to cover a few holes in staffing for a big event at one of our branches.  Because of this, I now am enjoying the pleasures of my couch and an open window mid day on a Monday.  Huzzah.  Not much better in life than this.  I’m hoping this is a good start to a better week than the last.  Not that last week was necessarily bad.  It was just that week in my pregnancy when suddenly every random stranger on the planet realizes I’m pregnant and suddenly has input into my size in relation to my due date, whether or not I will immunize and several comments on the utter necessity of sleeping on my left side.  Of course I realize that every mother (and even those without children in some instances) has very strong beliefs as to why certain things must be done a certain way for certain reasons (or else).  And that so much doesn’t bother me as I realize that I know absolutely nothing about bringing home a child to raise as my own, therefore can stand to hear all about the rigors of bedtime schedules and the dangers of using two way monitors in the nursery.  It’s the speculation on my size that tends to throw me for a loop.

I think it’s hilarious that this is the only time in my life in which it becomes totally appropriate for people to not only ask how much weight I’ve gained, but also debate on whether or not it seems accurate.  Last week, within the course of 4 hours I had one woman tell me that I resembled Heidi Klum in my pregnancy, all belly and no pudge.  I loved that woman.  I don’t know her name, but she will forever resound in my heart as the woman I would surely marry if it weren’t for the fact that I am also a woman and currently married.

However, within a few short hours, two women (whom I had never met) stood side by side and debated together that if in fact the doctors WERE correct, and I was only 5 months along, despite their best estimations that I was much closer to the 8 month mark, that I must be carrying twins.  There was no way that I was only 5 months a long with one child.  NO way.  I mean I’M HUGE.  How could there only be ONE 5 month old child in there?  IT’S NOT POSSIBLE!!!  They even finished it off by wishing me luck….because obviously I am well on may to giving birth to King Freaking Kong.

You can understand why suddenly I’m a little confused on how I should feel regarding my new physique.  Are people secretly wandering around, discussing the possibility that in 4 months I will give birth to a mutant of a walrus?

Or can I forget the stares and speculation…chalk it up to a lack of filter, something I can totally relate to, and go take a nap?

I may grab some doritos first, because I have to feed my walrus, and then hit the couch for that nap.  And that sounds lovely 🙂

10 Comments leave one →
  1. April 26, 2010 3:01 pm

    I don’t think you look large at all for 5 months along. But if I’m wrong and you ARE large it’s because the kid is the son of Christopher which means he has roller blades, a hockey goal, at least two identical tennis rackets, a spandex wrestling outfit, several game consoles and accompanying TV’s, ski’s, and a file cabinet in which to he’s storing 18 years worth of excuses for any and every situation he might have to squirm out of. Those thinks take up space.

    Honestly, I’m not even convinced you are pregnant. One good blast of gas and this could all be over with. 🙂

    • April 26, 2010 3:25 pm

      I’m suddenly terrified he does have more than placenta going on in there. He does move around a lot. What are the realistic chances he’s some how fashioned some sort of gaming console in there? So much for a natural childbirth.

  2. April 26, 2010 7:21 pm

    it’s the lack of filter. i’m sure you’re just the right size!

    but seriously, it gets so much better after the baby is here. once, i was at sam’s club with luke who was 2 and eating snacks out of a bag in the cart and bennett who was a newborn that i was wearing in a baby bjorn. this old lady first scolded me because of luke snacking and THEN told me that my baby was probably suffocating in that carrier thing. i wanted to punch her lights out.

    • April 26, 2010 9:05 pm

      i just keep thinking to myself…..I love people because Christ compels me to….not because they are deserving. and yes, sometimes i’d like to punch their lights out.

  3. jimmah permalink
    April 26, 2010 11:25 pm

    not touching the weight thing…
    congrats on the day off! weekday days off are super fantastic!!! too bad yours wasn’t tuesday, i could have come over with the doritos.

  4. Patti permalink
    April 27, 2010 9:32 pm

    you would think that women would get it and be more filtered when speaking to a pregnant woman. All I can say is from the pictures you have posted, you look gorgeous sweetie. Enjoy this time and just use that amazing laugh of yours to unnerve them. But it’s ok to slap them when they start touching your belly.

    • April 27, 2010 9:52 pm

      unnerve them with my laugh….i’m proficient in unnerving the general public with my laugh.

      • Patti permalink
        April 27, 2010 10:17 pm

        I love your laugh, you know that!!!!

  5. Nicole Sneed permalink
    May 7, 2010 11:42 am

    I’m with Patty…you should laugh at them. Both because you have a great laugh, and because they are likely being critical of you because they’re jealous that you’re more gorgeous than they are. 🙂

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