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nightmares.

April 19, 2009

In grade school I remember having dreams the night before tests that I had somehow managed to forget every single fragment of information ever put into my brain at the very moment the tests were being passed out.  Also sometimes I would be in my undies or something equally as disturbing.  As an adult, when waiting tables, I would have nightmares that I would forget entire sections of people at a time, leaving huge piles of dishes stacked up random places around the dining area and create a chaotic scene of tremendously aggravated patrons.  It’s an honest confession for me to tell all of you that these dreams would totally destroy my confidence and would severely put a damper on my test taking and table waiting abilities.  

This week I was asked by our pastor to share a scripture relating to a journey we are taking through 1 John in which John writes to the church that they should be prepared for the destruction of antichrists by knowing the truth, for in the truth there can be no lies.  That being said we were asked to make a list of questions relating to our belief in Jesus, followed by a scriptural reference to answer these questions.  I’ve been asked to share one of mine this Wednesday night in front of the church. Of course I won’t be alone in this and several other people have been asked to do the same.  Unfortunately, I’m sure not everyone was plagued with a debilitating nightmare wherein they lost not only their notes relating to their question, but also any copy ever available of the holy bible.  

All I remember is going through my purse for what seemed 12 hours while the church played a loop real of Seinfeld bloopers (I’m not sure what that means other than maybe I might have fallen asleep withe tv on), only to discover that any resemblance of preparedness I may have had was now forever lost in the abyss of “never to be found again”.  Now I’m seriously terrified of what will happen this Wed night.  It’s a crippling fear really.  And as most of you know, I am not scared of much, especially when it means I get to stand up and show people how brilliant I am.  This morning in small group I was almost completely unwilling to share any of my Jesus questions…for fear that somewhere someplace a Sienfeld blooper reel would begin and I would end up in my underwear not able to bus any tables because the patrons were throwing holy bibles at me that I could never catch because I was too busy failing my SAT’s.  

It’s diabolical how my mind works.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 19, 2009 10:01 pm

    It’s Topher’s birthday. You have a free “out.” Take him to dinner… just the 2 of you. Or to a Seinfield marathon at home. In other words … totally “use” him.

    • Bella permalink*
      April 19, 2009 10:22 pm

      the thing is, I can totally do this. i mean, it isn’t really a big deal. no bigger than my SAT’s were and i practically did sleep through those (good story…remind me to tell you sometime). i’m just a weirdo who has anxiety from her overtly realistic dreams.

  2. Scott permalink
    April 20, 2009 1:08 pm

    no joke. I had that same dream about you yesterday!

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