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Things I think everyone should do if money (or dignity) is no issue:

March 9, 2009

1. Install a mini-bowling alley in their home.  (I experienced this for the first time last night with Joe and Chris in a local arcade.  Can I just say “where have you been all my life?”)

2. Buy a mascot suit.  The kind with the big heads that are hard to see out of.  You never know when you might need a good disguise.

3. Travel the earth in search of Willy Wonka’s factory.  (I’m not even sure why they call it the “chocolate factory”….TV transporters, golden eggs, gobstoppers, bubble machines….come on people.  Stop pulling the wool over your eyes.  It’s the fantasy factory)

4. Feed the hungry.

5. Yell out loudly “Bartender..I’m buying a round for the house”.  (This is especially clever when you are in the bar completely alone or in a very crowded library)

6. Pursue a lifelong dream and spend enough money that it becomes a success.  (I wonder how much it costs to be the ultimate street fighter)

7.  Purchase a dangerous and illegal animal.  Claim to tame it and let it roam your home when unwanted guests come over.  (Risky in theory but more than likely the most successful way in which to avoid awkward conversations.”

5 Comments leave one →
  1. kellimcgill permalink
    March 10, 2009 7:26 am

    Ummm, have you been drinking??

  2. Teresa permalink
    March 10, 2009 6:51 pm

    Wow, you Woods folks must have some fun holiday dinners…

  3. Dave permalink
    March 11, 2009 2:46 pm

    You are the best. However, I would only like to try 4 or 5 of these. Which ones shall remain a mystery. Well.. not too much of a mystery. ( 3 and 7 are kind of crazy)

    • Bella permalink*
      March 11, 2009 9:55 pm

      the weird part is…even as I wrote those two points I thought in my head “the only person who will get this will be my insane father in law”. which is probably pretty accurate.

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