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deciding on the giving of thanks

November 26, 2008

Not to say there aren’t things to be thankful for.  There are so many.  But choosing the few you mention to  society when they inevitably put you on the spot to announce your thanks for the year….can be tiresome.  I could go the generic route and give the over used and sometimes taken for granted list of “food, water, money, friends and family”.  But honestly…isn’t there enough honesty inside me to come up with a more specific and personalized list for myself?  But where to start?

I could start with the year as a whole and be thankful for my health.  This year has presented some interesting moments for me and my perception of health.  I spent the first 6 months in sometimes agonizing pain…that frankly I barely even took time to recognize.  It wasn’t until my doctor gave me the diagnosis of a tumor that someone I was close with pointed out I had in fact ingested nearly two bottles of ibprofun just in her sight since the beginning of the year.  It’s funny how priorities are sometimes the worst thing that can happen to a person.  Luckily all ended fairly well in that situation and despite some struggles with pain since that time….I’ve been feeling whole and at peace.

I could look at the past 90 something days and be thankful for a new job, a new apartment, a new church and most importantly…a new husband.  Life has been hectic this year and because I’m sometimes an overly honest person I will admit that I have had my doubts.  Never that the decisions I was making were the wrong ones…but more that if I failed I would have no way to find my way out.  I’ve learned a little bit (lota bit) about faith through that.  Failure is not the end of life.  Failure is an inevitable constant in life.  Doubting your response to that is a waste.  

I could look at the past 5 minutes and be thankful for hot chocolate and free wifi.  I could be thankful for my debit card that allowed me to buy that hot chocolate…and my new mac that connects me to this blog.  I could be thankful that my husband is at home with a friend playing games and building a new much needed relationship.  I could be thankful that it’s not “glove and face mask” weather outside.  I could be thankful for my very comfy and multi colored socks.  

To pick one would be hard.  I’m not sure that tomorrow when the family around the table asks me for my list that they would be ecstatic to hear everything I’ve just posted.  I might need to pick a few and give someone else a turn.  Maybe I’ll just say this….

I’m thankful for a man who loves me when I’m at my worst.  A family that tries very hard.  An shelter to keep me warm.  A job to keep me occupied.  A God that teaches me the art of hunger through nearly constant silence.  A dog that teaches me the patience of parenthood through horrible smells and spills and slobber.  A healthy body.  An unbalanced mind.  An unguarded mouth.  A loud personality.  And…hot chocolate.  

That about sums it all up.  Bring on the stuffing.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 26, 2008 10:04 pm

    Bravo, my Bella! Bravo!

    You are an amazing woman… one I am thankful to have as a daughter-in-law.

    In other words, when he said “would you?” thank you for saying, “yes!”

  2. jamie toolen permalink
    November 27, 2008 10:55 pm

    Unguarded mouth? you? I know, I can’t say much 🙂 It was so good to see you the other night, I’m so glad you took the time to stop by. I do so miss having you around more. There’s so few people that can actually read my mind as well as you do 🙂 Love you!

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