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30 day incubation period…

September 5, 2008

Do you know how many times in my life I have heard the sentence “When I first met you …I really sincerely disliked you”?  It’s one of those funny things people say that they mean to be a compliment…as if you should feel privileged that they bothered to change their mind…but really it’s a dig at your personality and lack of initial attractiveness.  This a situation that has been following me since the days of middle school.  Some of my best friends in the world had misguiding’s about their feelings for me in the early days of our meeting.  Imagine how difficult the last 3 weeks have been on me psychologically.  I moved 45 minutes away from the nearest person who by all rights liked me for me.  Everyone within a reasonable driving distance that I consider a “friend”, at this point, is family.  Which, don’t get me wrong, I am marrying into a wonderful family, but even they aren’t innocent of letting their beginning dis-likings for me be known.  I’m not sure if it’s something I say necessarily, or if it’s just the way I carry myself.  But the last three weeks have been lonely with all these people putting me through the “probationary indifference” period. 

Recently I was telling a friend about my little lonely problem.  She encouraged me that the reason I’m somewhat disliked by most is due to my sometimes overwhelming confidence.  As someone who suffers from extreme self degradation, I have no doubts that I come off as cocky to some.  It’s really funny how when you take too much time to size other people up because you feel inferior…they assume it’s because you are attempting to make them feel as such.  Eh.  What can you do outside of Prozac?  Regardless, this friend I was talking too sent me a card yesterday.  When I opened the mail I felt vindicated.  Suddenly I realized that somewhere out there…someone got it.  It was just a matter of time before the rest of them followed suit.  It simply read….”Don’t worry.  You’re contagious.  Maybe their immunity is high or you have a 30 day incubation period.”

So true.  So true.  My 3 week mark has hit here in St. Charles.  Any minute now I’m gonna have friends knockin the door down.  I better go make a pan of brownies or something in case they are hungry.  Or maybe I’ll just scarf them in a fit of lonely depression.  The brownies…not the friends.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. September 5, 2008 7:10 pm

    45 minutes? Oh, whine, whine, whine! Try 9 hours!!!

    Okay, I’m kidding. I liked ya from day #1, kiddo. And I don’t think I’ve even had your brownies before. If they don’t come knockin at your door … well … their loss.

    You are loved in Cleveland,
    The Homeless Guy

  2. September 5, 2008 7:40 pm

    I must say, that I’ve been a Laura fan from the start.

    And as far as being lonely…my door is open to you anytime, ANY. Just because I’m on the verge of becoming family doesn’t make me any less of a friend. If you & Chris were you cancel the wedding tomorrow…I’m keeping you & ditching Chris.

  3. jimbarnard permalink
    September 5, 2008 10:39 pm

    try not calling people names… they like that typically.

  4. Nicole permalink
    September 5, 2008 11:38 pm

    Honestly, I don’t remember if I initially liked you or not all those many moons ago back in high school…however, I do know that I had some incredibly hilarious moments with you in P.E., and that pretty much makes whatever I felt about you before that time a moot point. I know there are people who probably don’t like me at first as well…maybe because I have a dry sense of humor, or maybe because I can be a HUGE smart alec (sp?)… But, really though, I have NO IDEA why you and I got along… 🙂

    Anyway, you crack me up and I love to read your writings!

  5. Jenni permalink
    September 6, 2008 5:52 pm

    Don’t worry, people don’t like me either. Those brownies are for me. You know it, I know it. I’m coming to get them soon.

  6. September 10, 2008 4:23 pm

    I related to this post because I’ve always kinda felt the same way. I make friends super slowly. It’s definitely a confidence thing, because I am totally shy and freaked out when I meet new people, so I disdain to put myself out there before I know if they are really safe. They do come around, or rather, I come around and they learn that they like me, but there is that period where you wonder if you will ever have another friend again. For the record, I like you and I’ve never even met you.

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