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steve guttenberg is a talentless schmuck

May 29, 2008

> Bowel movements are so much more exciting after a surgery that fills you up with a hot air balloons worth of gas.  I’ll never again take for granted the action of letting go of toxins of the solid form.  My mornings just were NOT the same without that daily tradition.  I suddenly feel like I can take on the world again.  In fact…even while it was happening the only thing that came to mind was the theme song to the Mary Tyler Moore Show.  I am gonna make it after all.

>There are things you never really think about when dreaming of life without a job.  The first being that there is little to nothing on tv during the day.  I cannot even begin to put a number to the countless amount of crappy Steve Guttenberg movies that seem to be playing on what seems an endless loop.  The other thing that needs to be considered before deciding that life without a 9 – 5 is for you is…are you self motivated enough to get out of a comfy chair should there be no one around to hold you accountable?  For me…the answer is currently no.  Thus…I shall keep my calendar full and pray I never run into a situation of unobserved chair lounging.

>There is nothing more painful in this world than a hiccup or sneeze at a time like this.  For instance, I was walking around this morning towards the bathroom to blow my nose.  However before I arrived at my destinatiion I felt that feeling that you sometimes feel before that combustive nose explosion (sneeze) blows.  There was no stopping it.  I hugged myself and dropped.  It was no sooner that I started to recognize my surroundings that it happened.  It was the dreaded hiccup.  At that moment it felt like the equivalent of what I imagine it would feel like to have your torso removed from your appendages. 

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. May 29, 2008 11:43 am

    blaspheme! steve guttenburg was the theatric genius of the 80 comedies. not to mention his awesome dancing skillz.

  2. May 29, 2008 12:40 pm

    Torso’s are important. Please keep yours. And thanks for the visual images of morning bowel movements at the Rulo household! You are obviously no longer “full of it!”

    About the 9-5 job and daytime TV. All I can say is … tell me about it. I did without a 9-5 for 11 months. Wanna hear stories that will curl your nose hairs? And as for Steve Gutttenburg. I didn’t realize that he is a real person. I thought he was some convincing graphic that Hollywood come up with because they couldn’t find a real human being willing to do the total mindless dialogue that comes spewing from his mouth. Now there’s a man that could do without a torso….

  3. June 1, 2008 12:56 am

    glad to hear you’re doing well.

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