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you are cordially NOT invited to my gathering.

May 3, 2008

> As most of you know….it’s recently come to light that I will soon undergo a procedure to remove what my doctor refers to as a “mass” or a “tumor”.  It may actually be more than one (I’m not really positive on the specifics due to the fact that I was in Walmart when he called me….and he’s Asian thus prohibiting me from catching about every 3 syllables from his prognosis), however everything seems to be okay at this moment and I’m told I have absolutely nothing to worry about.  Alisha tells me that I’m freaking people out with the word “mass/tumor” and we should work on a substitute word.  So I headed over to thesaurus.com to get some possible candidates for my situation.  These are my options.  Aggregation, amassment, assemblage, collection, congeries, cumulation or gathering. I think I’m gonna go with “gathering” simply because I imagine it will be a lot more humorous if on Monday I walk into my HR directors office inform her of the “gathering in my right ovary”.  She may even go out to buy a new party dress! 

> I had another “skirty fly up” in front of QT Thursday.  I’m assuming that I’m becoming somewhat of an Urban Legend around Bethalto these days.  Like Bigfoot.  I wonder if there isn’t a forum somewhere out there simply discussing the Rulo Panty Sightings around town.  I mean seriously. Is it just me or has it been uncommonly breezy this year?? 

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. jimbarnard permalink
    May 3, 2008 12:10 pm

    darn me for missing the breezy season this past week!

  2. May 3, 2008 12:40 pm

    When I read that you have a “mass” I get this mental picture of a bearded man with a flowing robe holding a high and holy Catholic service somewhere in your abdomen. I know. I’m weird.

    Any chance that your “skirty fly up” is your “gathering” simply trying to escape on its own? You know … “I’m breaking out of this joint …” I can picture it asking the kidneys if they want to come .. “psst… pass the word to the gall bladder …”

  3. Denise permalink
    May 4, 2008 6:54 am

    You don’t know me, but I know your future f-i-l and found your blog through him. I wanted to tell you 2 things:

    1. Yes it has been breezy this spring. Last Wednesday the same thing happened to me in front of two of my students. Teenagers. One male, one female. How do I know that it was really a close call? The mail student actually blushed and the female students concluded our conversation with, “Ok, see you later Mrs. Monroe” (as in Marilyn since Monroe is not my last name).

    2. I’ve been wanting to tell you that I love your blog. I always end up smiling and laughing out loud at what you write. Please keep up the good work.

  4. May 4, 2008 2:02 pm

    Hi Denise!

  5. neeser permalink
    May 5, 2008 12:07 am

    It’s pretty embarrassing to leave two glaring typos in a comment to someone who doesn’t even know you. But not as embarrassing as when you have to admit that you’re an *English* teacher. Would it make it any better if I said that I was just so excited to finally have something to respond to here that I lost my head for a moment and didn’t proofread before I clicked?… didn’t think so.

    Anyway, I’ll stop obsessing about it now, since you probably already think I’m some kind of weirdo. Ron can confirm this information.

    Hi Ron!

  6. May 5, 2008 10:16 pm

    Yup. Pretty much a whack job. 🙂

    Love ya, Neeser!

  7. May 6, 2008 6:48 pm

    I like gathering as well! You may want to watch who you tell about the gathering in your lady parts. (I really can make a basket with the new substitute word.)

  8. May 7, 2008 10:39 am

    Laura’s having a gathering in her lady parts? Is that official? ‘Cause if it is, I’m blogging it.

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