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flashing subway

April 23, 2008

> I flashed an entire room of $5 footlong fans Monday.  Here is a word of advice for all those ladies out there.  Do yourself a favor and skip the wrap dress on windy days.  It’s inevitable that it will most certainly fly open at the least appropriate time.  For instance, perhaps just as you are about to walk into a completely packed restaurant that just happens to have an entire front wall made completely of glass.  It was movie-esk.  The second after it happened I walked in, despite the embarrassing display of my “laundry day” panties, and witnessed the most silent silence that ever occurred.  Every person in the room looked away awkwardly except for one person.  One girl.  Probably no older than 8.  Curly red hair.  Lots of freckles.  She watched me walk up to the counter, never breaking her stare, and just…smiled.  I think she was proud.  I’m not sure why….but that was her expression.  I like her.

> Today I had a doctors appointment.  There were several women in the waiting room.  They were all discussing their medical issues.  I always wonder how these conversations start in medical waiting rooms.  Who is the first one that steps up to the plate by asking “so what are you here for?”…or….”man I’m so glad I got this appointment…my butt hole is on fire”.  Regardless…this specific conversation took a turn for the entertaining when one woman decided she was going to take on the symptoms of everyone else in the room.  One woman said her back was a mess, suddenly so was hers.  Another woman had just had a miscarriage, as had she.  Another woman had fibroid tumors, significantly enough….so did she.  It went on from there.  When they all looked to me to list my ailments I so badly wanted to say “Herpes….a raging disgusting case of herpes”, just to see what she owned up to. 

5 Comments leave one →
  1. mcgilla permalink
    April 24, 2008 3:23 pm

    i have this problem with skirts in Texas. It suddenly becomes very windy… but not on days that i’m wearing regular undies… only when i’m wearing embarrassing ones…

  2. mcgilla permalink
    April 27, 2008 8:38 am

    i don’t think i really paint anything very beautiful…. but i guess if you don’t like it you can hide it in the back closet until i come to visit…. and i don’t think you’ll remember the letter opener.

  3. April 27, 2008 9:35 am

    Well, Kristi, WHY are you wearing embarassing undies in the first place? and in the second place … why are I talking about it.

    I digress.

    On a lighter note I have never, not even once, had my jeans torn open by a gust of wind. Score one for males world wide.

  4. jimbarnard permalink
    April 28, 2008 4:30 pm

    has anyone else farter a hole in their underwear? i do it 4 times a year. you can set a calendar to it.

  5. May 19, 2009 9:55 am

    Thanks for this great post Im pretty sure that many people are searching informative post like yours .

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