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April 17, 2008

> I got beat up by a 3 year old in my doctors waiting room two days ago.  I wish I were exaggerating. His mother left him alone in the waiting room and as luck would have it, my appt. was running late.  He spat on me, snotted near me, slapped me, kicked me, took running jumps at me, cussed at me….and worst of all…threw brochures containing information concerning STD’s at me.  I threw up my white flag and requested a change in venue.  I was left to wait in my doctors office.  This story isn’t really good for anything but a cheap laugh at my expense and to provide further proof for everyone that all children hate me. 

> Chris is a SHBASS.  That’s right…a SHBASS.  It stands for shoe bad ass.  And as many times as I say it over the phone he keeps hearing me say “SPAZ”.  So I’m blogging it in an attempt that he will finally realize his shoe bad assness.  And not his spazness.

> I recently fell in love with a website called “the buried life“.  This has prompted me to make a list…   100 things I want to do before I die.  So far I have 10 things on my list.  I wrote them all down with magic marker…so I’m kind of obligated to make them happen.  

1. land a skateboard trick…on camera
2. meet someone famous and remain calm (e.g. John M.)
3. witness a major leage no hitter firsthand (this will require me going to a lot of games)
4. make a difference in world hunger
5. learn an instrument…and learn it well
6. have a conversation with someone who can’t speak a word of english
7. cook an amazing meal…effortlessly
8. sacrafice something for 12 months…in a row
9. walk across the Golden Gate Bridge
10. discover my favorite food…and find the restaurant that makes it the best


8 Comments leave one →
  1. April 17, 2008 2:04 am

    Concerning #8. How about a goat?

  2. April 17, 2008 3:36 am

    1: “…further proof for everyone that all children hate me.” Elle loves you.

    2: “witness a major league no hitter first hand.” I didn’t even know that you like baseball??? Are you sure that you want that on your list?

  3. April 17, 2008 3:42 am

    i love baseball…the beginning of summer is marked by opening day. Up until the past two years I had season tix for sunday games and me and friends used to travel to a couple of Cards away games a year. My last blog was almost completely dedicated to Reggie Sanders when he was a Card. HOWEVER, this and last season were totally distracted by school…it’s sad…but by next season I will be back to my old self.

  4. April 17, 2008 3:45 am

    oh…and Sunday I told your brother that when I retire I want to take a summer and rent an RV to travel to every major league baseball stadium. He said I could go alone. He’s a poser baseball fan. Regardless he likes to make feel bad about not knowing stats this year. Jerk.

  5. Took permalink
    April 17, 2008 4:14 am

    I love the goat idea. I didn’t know you were such a John Malkovich fan. And can #7 be for your dearest tookie?

  6. April 17, 2008 5:12 am

    oh and i just want to clarify…Elle does not love me. She is always telling me to go home when she sees me. I say that to Chris a lot…but that’s a love she could never understand at her age.

  7. jamie permalink
    April 17, 2008 2:59 pm

    Tim and Mike reenacted your kid attack/slow-motion superhero pose again for me last night. We so should have videotaped you telling us – it’s just not the same in print! 😀

  8. Scott permalink
    April 19, 2008 3:30 am

    Ummm…the world hunger thing.
    It is funny you should mention it.
    I am doing this next week.
    (click the link)

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